November 8, 2018
I wanna tell my mother and sister I love them.
Me writing this isn’t telling you but as I write it I feel like you can hear me screaming your names, screaming I love you, screaming I need you, screaming.
I felt like I was losing me.
And in the same breath I used to tell u I love you,
I wanna tell you I am trying.
I am trying to become the best man I can become even with the distance, the distance that sometimes leave me feeling far away from you.
I hope my flaws and inadequate actions don’t make you feel I love you less because when I am at my lowest it’s thoughts of you guys that pick me back up.
Deep down I feel like I can be a better brother and a better son, but I know you will be proud of me regardless.
Life in your twenties is never easy and it always seem like it will never get right but because of you two I’m trying.
I break down and cry sometimes but I don’t give up, even when I am my biggest enemy and competitor.
I know this is to tell you I love,
But maybe I wrote this just to remind myself that you guys still love me,
The same as you did when you watch my plane take off on that cool August morning,
The day life changed;
I’m still deciding if it was for the better.